September 21, 2005

Is my thoughts all muddled?

I'm just reviewing my past. Looking over papers that my mother so conviently saved. But why save papers from my first grade. I mean nearly all of them or D's and F's, and it didn't help that my first year in first grade I was mostly sick. But yes I did have to take first grade twice. Which I don't feel to bad because both my mom and dad had to take it twice too. The only one in my family that passed the first time was my brother.

Speaking of, my brother is the only one in the family that has been diagnosed with ADD when he was a kid. No one ever diagnosed me, everyone just thought I was lazy. Which that may be the case. But it's not like I'm not trying it's just that everytime I start on a project I have all these other ideas that come into my head. Like what if I did this, or what if I did that differently, or what project would I do if I did this. . . Type of thing. If this is not making any sense don't feel bad, because it doesn't always make sense to me. I do sometimes notice when I go back and re-read my work that stuff is often out-of-order, and I try to fix it. But sometimes I think that it's fine.

I decided to head to the ADD website to see if I could learn more. But all says I have to be diagnosed through a family physician. Well, I don't have one. basically it is because I can't afford one, because I'm out-of-work and I don't want to ask my parents for help. So I'm stuck probably living with an undiagnosed treatment for ADD. I'm not for sure if I'll eventually get it diagnosed, but in the mean time I feel stressed because if I do have ADD it would explain why I have trouble setting goals, staying organized, finishing a project on time, and having just one more thing in common with my brother. :)

I don't know if another will actually read this, but it does help to at least publish it somewhere.

September 01, 2005

Another day another way to waste gas

How's someone suppose to get a job? Gas? Bills? Cars? Even daydreaming? And now this business with Hurricane Katrina, I heard on the news that everyone there is coming to Texas to get a job and start over. So much for getting a job. Maybe I should move to another state. And now my dad's complaining about gas and how the usa doesn't have a back.up plan, and that we all will be looting in the streets when we run out. But luckily my pessimistic side takes over and says "that since I'm weaker than most I'll probably will be the first to die". But who really knows, we'll probably get blown up by aliens by than. Well, I'll try and write another blog entry before that happens. Til then, see you.